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How does this website work?
Getting started is easy. Select an occasion – such as a wedding or a new baby – and provide answers to a few easy questions. We use the information you provide to personalize every note. Next, design your notes with customizable stationery and handwriting options. Then, tell us what gifts you’ve received and whom to thank. Printed notes will be on their way to you within three days. (We send them to you – not the recipient – so that you can read your notes. Also, by mailing the notes locally, you get the all-important postmark.)
 
Are the notes actually handwritten?
Actually? No. We use sophisticated handwriting fonts (we have fonts that skew female, male and gender-neutral) that can fool all but the most suspicious forensic graphologist. So maybe don’t use us to write your ransom note. But will it fool Aunt Phyllis? Hell yes. And she’ll be thrilled. In fact, our notes are so fabulous that we strongly recommend you read each one before mailing them off. Because you will likely get gushing feedback thanking you for your thank-you notes. 
 
Wouldn’t I be so busted if I got caught using your service?!?
You won’t get caught. The notes we write are so poignant and personalized, so tailor-made to your specific occasion that no one would think you used a service to write them. Additionally, we will never sell, barter or share your personally identifying information (or the information of your friends and family). In fact, we refuse to divulge the identities of our clients, except when served with a legally executed warrant. And even then we’d drag our feet and play dumb.
 
What’s to stop me from just buying two or three notes from TFE and then simply plagiarizing them to write fifty more?
Go right ahead. If you’ve paid for our notes, they are yours to do with as you please*. However, writing unique notes (or even repetitive ones) is still a drag. And harder still when you have to say something grateful (and convincing) about specific gifts. But if you just need a teensy bit of inspiration, go for it! (And see our Resources section, with helpful tips.)
* The exception, of course, is that you may not use our products for any commercial endeavor. These notes are only for your personal, non-monetary use.
 
Why won’t you write the thank-you notes for all of my bar- or bat-mitzvah presents? Please?
Look, you have to learn (and master) the rules before you can break them. If you’re 13, you actually have time to write all those notes. And it’s a good exercise. And besides, no one expects very much from you at this stage, so you can get away with Dear Uncle Gilmore, Thank you for the fifty-dollar savings bond. I love it. When it matures, in twenty years, I will spend it responsibly, like for college. Love, Adam. Of course, if you write awesome notes, you might get even better presents later on for high-school graduation. Just a thought. Oh, and mazel-tov. Now beat it.
Coffe Cup